Sunday, December 09, 2007

We're ok. Not sure who's hurt.

Found out an hour or so ago that there was a shooting at our church. We're praying feverishly for life to be sustained and for details to be announced so that we know if everyone is ok.

Join us in prayer.

Ho, Ho, Ho

Well, we are definitely in the swing of "Christmas" here in Colorado. I feel like I'm nearly fighting the current to stay afloat, so that I don't get washed under all the (hype, spending frenzy, getting instead of giving mentality) overall focus on all-things-snowman/santa. I earnestly want to live in a way that I'm truly making Christmas about Christ, and not about me, my budget or even about the gifts I'm giving.

So, what is the point of annually remembering Christ's birth, you may ask? Well, I think we could easily minimize the impact and depth of what his death means if we don't recognise the eternal significance of his birth... Over and over throughout the Old Testament, it was foretold that One would come, to redeem us. And over and over throughout the New Testament, we see how Christ is the fulfillment of those promises.

Who among us would not wish to be redeemed? Who among us can say with full confidence, that we need no one or nothing outside of ourselves for fulfillment and true Life? I love that Jesus said "I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10). I also love that the abundant life that he talks about, is something to be sought after and found... not just dropped in our laps the minute we acknowledge our need for Him.

The Christian walk for me is like a scavenger hunt. You start off with one note, one point of direction, and you go forward. Through trial and error, and learning the heart of the One who organized the scavenger hunt, you begin to get the bigger picture of the final prize, even before you've actually found it. Under the surface, I begin to uncover the heart of my magnificent God, and that he deeply, earnestly, cares for me. AND, now that I've found him, he's eager to use my hands for his work.

If people out there can't see Him or don't want to, He can use us to put things before others that would help them to better understand His love. What a risky thing for Him to do though, when you really think about it. We could totally screw up His attempt to embrace the world. Lord, help me to hear you, share your HEART for your people, and not get stuck in myself along the way.

Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Some pictures from our trip to my mom's house over Thanksgiving...

1 week: 24 hours driving: Lots of whining (and not all from the kids!): Yet much fun was had by all! Sarah's Fam.

The little one is sleeping- and it's warm enough to hang out on the deck with no shoes!

My adorable men!

Out baba's door... lays a world ready to be explored...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Superhero/Dinosaur party!

Here are some pictures of the party today... I can't believe he's already 4!

I'm 4- and mom and dad got me my first bike! Training wheels, helmet, elbow and knee pads... and FUN! :)

Balloon games mixed with 3 and 4 year olds... Who's idea was this?

When you can't make up your mind between a T-Rex and Incredibles... you have both! A Superhero/Dinosaur birthday!

Look at me, I can clean up, just like daddy!

I got this sweet new card with finger puppets in it!
Birthday party fun... It only gets better and more exciting, the older they get!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It's time.

Man, the urge to move is sooo strong. Not a spirit led urge, not a decision based urge, just an urge.

don't quite know what to do with it, other than just pray and ask God to calm it until it's time.

Is it time yet?

Is it time yet?

Is it time yet?

I guess I better be careful. Does God ever answer our prayers just to shut us up, even when it's not His best?

Maybe that's why He's got me in such a busy stage of life. No time between changing diapers and telling my 3 year old that his underwear is on backwards to ponder the deeper issues in life-- or to try and take things into my own hands. no extra money for it either... (God does things on purpose. Did I just now figure this out!?)

Ok Lord. So, if I do right by my situation now, keep loving, serving and attending to your needs,you will attend to mine. Isn't that scriptural? Why does it take me soooo long to get stuff to sink in?

Monday, November 05, 2007

I had a dream...

So, a few weeks back, I had a dream. A weird dream.

But after I woke up, I thought to myself... that was so weird, that wouldn't be a God dream. Then, of course, I hear the still small voice say "Really?"

So I pray. I ask God to show me what potential lies in this bizarre dream. And he tells me, and then tells me to tell my friend (who was in the dream).

So I do. I took me like 2 weeks to tell her. Was it fear that it really wasn't God? Was it embarrassment at how strange it was? Why did I hesitate?

So, she emails me back today. And says it was right on. That it was water on a dry parched heart.

Thankfully God continues to give us second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


It's been about a month now - where I feel like I'm stuck in 'stuff.'

I'm digging my way out of american/western/babylonian (whatever label you want to give it) ACCUMULATION!

I'm sick of having to dig in my own house. I'm sick of feeling like I can't find anything I need because of all the stuff I don't need getting in the way.

So I pray.

I pray that God would teach me and free me from the accumulation thing. Whether it be a bondage, an addiction, a habit, a pattern... I want out.

The other battle that rages within me is the financial aspect of it... I don't just want to give it all away... I want to make some of the money back on it. but I think that's as much of a bondage as keeping all the stuff. so i'm feeling challenged to give it away. big time.

Is it possible to host a Garage Sale but just give it all away? Think how much fun that would be. Hmm...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

September 26th- 26 pounds lost!

I don't know if I have a good picture of my new '26 pounds lighter self'- but i'm only 4 pounds from my goal! I just need the motivation/drive to get those last 4 pounds off!

yippee again!

Fishing with Dad...

My 3 year old holds his first fish! How slimy and exciting!
Proud moment for a father: Fishing with your son. I know my husband is just about bursting at the seams to be experiencing these things with his boys. Thank God we live in Colorado! :)

Could my kids be any cuter in their little life vests? :)

The Spirit of Adoption

I have been focused lately on the earthly thought of adoption and the corresponding thought about God's spirit of adoption...

In light of earthly adoption, I have been thinking a lot about it for the last month (a resurfacing of something that I've thought about off and on for the last 15 years or so...). But this instance is interesting to me, because I'm finally in the place that I've always considered 'the ideal time to adopt'... and it's really challenging me. It challenges me to trust God beyond my external circumstances (financial, preparedness, etc.), it challenges me now that I have two children-- to pray and believe that I can 'adopt' and love another child EXACTLY as my own.

God is such an inspiration in this... He took a scraggly bunch of people, gathered him under His wings, and brought us in, as His own, with unending Love, even when a lot of them didn't love him back... Can I do that?
no... not in my own strength or power at least.

So, I pray that God would begin to work this in me, this supernatural ability to 'adopt'- and prepare me to walk that path, in every way that I need to be ready.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Is it September Already?

Oh... look, it's September! Can you tell blogging has been far from my list of priorities lately!?

Well, I just read my husband's updated blog and felt like I should probably update the teeming masses who read my posts... oh wait, it's just my husband and anyone who might accidentally stumble on it... :)

Kinda proud of this triceratops cake... don't have much by way of supplies, but I do have imagination...

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Hubby Gone Camping...

So hubby went camping this weekend. Trying to keep the house in order, and my life in order. Basically praying that the kids do well- (especially since Evan had a fever for 4 days!)- and that I can help everyone have a fun time without missing daddy too much.

hope you're having a jesus-filled day. I sure am grateful that I have a God in heaven who loves me and looks out for me.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Cutie in a tux!

Look at this adorable kid in the tux! What an awesome ring bearer!

June 19th... 15 lbs gone!

Hi all, (as if there is an "all") :)

I lost the 15 lbs! I'm not being nearly as strict these days- but I'm hoping to continue to shed a few more pounds.

Evan is upstairs crying. Had a long day today shopping for preschools, going to the park, going swimming in the kiddie pool in the backyard... you know, summer stuff. :)

Post more later. too much to do around the house.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Atkins again...

I started the induction phase of Atkins yesterday. I had halfheartedly started on Thursday but I knew I had a fondue night with some girlfriends on Saturday- so I waited to officially cut the carb cord on Sunday... I'm actually 2 lbs lower than I was last Wednesday! I'm trying to work out like a madwoman as well- so that I can kick this butt into gear. :)

Can I do it? That is the question... I set a goal of 15 lbs to lose by Sam's wedding on the 19th of May. I'm going to push myself and see what happens.

Maybe I'll post before/after pictures in a few months! wouldn't that be fun. If only some tv show would sponsor me and do the "Swan" stuff to me. :) Free Lasik and laser hair removal? :) ha!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I'm praying for you Britney...

I'm a housewife/mom in the mountains of Colorado- but I'm a praying woman. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to move and soothe and create new life. I'm praying for Britney Spears a lot lately. Every time I hear about her on the news I just wish they'd leave the girl alone. I know how hard it is to raise two little boys and still keep your wits about you... and I really am moved and am praying that God will reach her and sustain her through this tough time. I can't imagine what it's like for her with media in her face all the time- and she doesn't have the help of a supportive husband either.

Oh Britney. If you ever find yourself in Colorado- please come by and just REST with me. I'll make you a cup of decaf starbucks house blend and I'll let you chill on my couch. All our boys can play and get dirty in the backyard while we talk about the challenges of motherhood and womanhood and just talk. I hope you have friends like that and down-time like that Britney. I don't know what I'd do without God and my good friends. If you want to talk about Jesus- or just not talk at all, come on over.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Pay for my Lasik Anyone?

I've been hoping that Lasik is in my future but every time I see the price ($2000/eye!) I just lose heart that we'll ever afford it. Not that we don't have money. God has blessed us with a very comfortable life... but there are other things that come before eye surgery.

So, I'm putting a link to PayPal on here... and I'll pray for a generous person to come to this blog and be moved to pay for my lasik! :) Maybe I'll be one of those fortunate folks who have a long lost relative that can't figure out who should receive their estate... Or, if I get 4000 people to each donate $1.00...

Donate to at Paypal.

It's worth a try...

My 20 pound baby- 'Swaddle King!'

Ok. So today I'm just laughing at how my 20 pound almost 7 month old baby has to be swaddled to fall asleep! We've tried a few times to take the swaddling blanket away... no luck.

Maybe we'll try again this weekend. I tried doing it alone during the week last time and that about made me pull my hair out with him crying all the time... By the time we actually break him of it he's going to be asking for it by name!

We've joked that he's going to be 16 and I'm going to have to make him a giant swaddler... Hope not.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The toothpaste gospel

Hmm... what a day. It's not like I'm running up against anything terrible or extremely difficult... just life. Why is it that I seem to feel like I'm losing my mind/my cool so much more than I ever have before?

My two beautiful boys are a gift from God- and today I feel like God sent them to me to test my very composition as a spirit filled woman... How can you tell what is inside a toothpaste tube? You can't see in it. You can't feel the texture of what is inside. You can't smell it's fragrance. Until... you open it- THEN squeeze it.

So- I'm feeling today like God has first opened me (more like for surgery than like uncapping toothpaste!) and now he's squeezing...

I'm thinking that if the analogy is comparing me to the toothpaste: I'm long past the expiration date... The fresh, newness that the Holy Spirit brings is soooo much preferred to the stale, oft expired nastyness of which my flesh is composed.

Lord, make me NEW!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Friends dealing with Infertility

I'm really burdened today with the thought of my friends that are battling with infertility. I was told in 2000 that I probably had PolyCystic Ovarian Disease - but that I wouldn't know for sure until I tried to start having kids.

Well, 7 years, 1 miscarriage and 2 kids later (all conceived within 6 months of trying)- I guess I don't have it.

I did have a huge battle with fear and trusting God through trying to get pregnant with both though... It is a huge inward battle. But ultimately it is God who allows both ends to meet in order for a baby to be formed.

Friends: Know that I'm praying for you. I'm praying for your heart to trust that God knows what He is doing. He is able to overcome anything that a doctor has told you- but he is also able to soften your heart to believe and hope for His ultimate plan and timing.

I also encourage you to seek Him and allow Him to grow you in all other areas while you wait. My main struggle right now with 2 kids is trying to stay in the Spirit as I walk out my daily life. It is a rare day when I don't feel like I'm going to pull my hair out trying to stay calm while 2 kids scream, cry, throw fits and food, and suck all of my 'free time' and energy out of me.

So often I want to just run away for a few hours and have silence and peace. But, I'm realizing that peace is not JUST the absence of conflict- it's the presence of God. I want THAT more than anything- screaming babies or not. :)

Hang on. He IS able, more than able...

Sing it if you need to:

He is able, more than able, to accomplish what concerns me today. He is able, more than able, to handle anything that comes my way. He is able, more than able, to do much more than I could ever dream. He is able, more than able, to make me what He wants me to be. (maranatha song)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Trying this again today...

Well, I thought I'd try this again today. Yesterday the pictures wouldn't load. I don't know if its my pop up blocker (which I disabled) or the spyware or something- but it wouldn't work.
Yup. Still won't work. Any help?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Ok- So I don't do this very often!

Ok. It's a Wednesday and I'm homebound. Both boys had fevers yesterday- so I'm here playing nurse until tonight when Steve gets home and I can flee the premisis...

Steve and I had a great discussion about our nation last night after watching the State of the Union Address. We're both ready for people to take responsibility for their own actions - and stop blaming or waiting on the government to fix life for them. If CEO's make too much- you need to buy stock in that company- and then contact the board and have the shareholders and board do something about it... not have the government regulate all businesses because you don't make what the CEO of that company makes...

I am hoping that there will be some sort of regulation of the health care industry though. I'm wondering if someday we'll be paying more for health insurance than we do for the mortgage! I sat at the eye doctor's office for 1.5 hours the other day while 2 different secretaries had to call and get put on hold regarding exactly which page of their 3 inch notebook they were supposed to refer to regarding my EXACT eye care coverage! And, after all that, they ended up guessing how much to charge me! Can't wait to wrestle with the insurance company over that later... Couldn't the insurance companies and the eye doctors save tons of time and money to just pick a price that is agreeable between them- and use it... they'd save a ton on labor and time.

It also irks me that there are people in our country who might blame the president (of all people!) on these types of issues. Do they not think that he has more important things to do?

Anyway- a little cabin-feverish today (if you can't tell)- and I'm ready to pick a fight with all the 'why me' americans. :)