Monday, June 28, 2010

Biggest Loser Skunky Meatloaf

I was thinking today about the projects I had in mind for the summer. One of which was sewing some fun things- some to possibly sell to fundraise for the adoption. Well, it's nearly July and the table I got out to put the sewing stuff on is now covered in piles of unaddressed junk! Bleh! So, I've not taken on any sewing projects- and I've avoided most other productive things as well! I did start a tiling project in the bathroom that should be done in another day or two though... All comes down to motivation, I guess. I'm pretty much motivated to experience summer with the boys. And that's about it.

Well, my 3 year old just announced that he smells a skunk. I'll try not to take it personally, knowing that it means the attempt at a new meatloaf recipe is almost finished cooking. :( Let's just say that all of the meals I've tried cooking from this Biggest Loser Cookbook have not gone over very well with the fam. I guess that does generally lead to weight loss though, huh. If no one actually eats the dinner... :)

Gotta revert to humor when life is stuck in limbo. Apparently that is one of my coping mechanisms. :) Happy Monday bloggy friends!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Waiting in line

So, I finally published (4 days later) the blog I started on Thursday.

I'm still reflecting on all that God is attempting to teach me and areas where He's trying to stretch and grow me right now.

I'm such a visual person and a person who learns through analogy. That is often how God speaks to me- through pictures or stories...

So, here's today's image. Waiting in line at a waterpark. I'm the 9th person back. I see the waterpark through the gates, I see the fun all the others who got in before me are having. I watch and wait. I get tired of standing. I see signs all around that not only declare the fun I'll be having once I'm through the gates, but I also see all kinds of warning signs. Waterparks can be fun if you know how to swim and you know how to do it safely (with knowledge). Waterparks can be dangerous if you don't know how to swim and you don't heed the warnings.

Finally, I'm #2 in line and my excitement is definitely building. Then an employee pulls me out of line! WHAT? I've been standing here for soo long, and now I'm out of line. He says I'm not ready, and that while I'm out of line, I should take time to make sure I'm ready/healthy/prepared. My first response is immature. Something along the lines of 'I don't care if I'm ready, healthy or prepared, it's almost my turn!' But then, I think, OK, surely there's some truth to what he's saying...

So, this is where I am in adoption land. :) We've been chugging along for nearly 2 years in this adoption process, and now we're out of line, just after we got up to #2! I was pretty miffed at first- and have dealt with most of that. :) Now I'm trying to make sure that (while God obviously knows what He's doing, and is preparing our little girls' timing to be matched with our timing) I'm ready when the time comes for us to get back in line. This is most of what my maturity/immaturity post led me to think about, btw. So, instead of getting caught up in how unfair it feels (immaturity), I need to be thinking how I can best use my time out of line to prepare me to be the best/healthiest/most prepared mom I can be to our little princess (and my two princes). Is my parenting skillset where it needs to be? Is my marriage as healthy/strong as it needs to be? Is my education on bonding/attachment/adoption preparation as strong as it needs to be?

It's ironic- but this season of unemployment that has been followed by employment but uncertainty regarding where we'll live/if we'll move, has actually led to more rest than I've had lately. I'm so glad that God does strange stuff in our lives. It's the unexpected stuff that makes us look up and go, 'huh?' But it made me look up, right? :)

Are there situations in your life right now where you may not have an actual number in line- but that you've been waiting on God to get you to that place, or bring about that promised thing, and you've been plucked out? I urge you not to think so much about what you're being pulled FROM- but instead about what you're being pulled TO. Go to the arms of the Savior- and find health, strength, & wisdom. Be equipped, not discouraged. If you need a good book on the subject, I highly recommend In the Meantime: The Practice of Proactive Waiting- by Rob Brendle.

Wisdom and Knowledge; Maturity and Immaturity

I heard a quote from a friend recently that made me laugh. 'Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.'
I took the kids to the zoo on Thursday and had a great time- but I also had a few moments of reflection afterward, in my exhaustion. :)

In one particular exhibit, there was a fantastic animal behind the glass, but my 3 year old only saw the little buttons all over the room that he could push to make something illuminate or speak... No matter how many times I kept trying to show him the amazing, rare animal that only exists in this country in zoos... he didn't care. His focus was entirely on the buttons.

Have you ever pondered how two people can be in the same place and see something completely different from one another? I'm not talking about those brain puzzle things where you have to cross your eyes to see them... those kind of annoy me. What I was thinking about regarding this zoo experience is how maturity can dictate what we see in a situation.

In my 'mature' eyes, I knew the rarity of what I was seeing when I looked at the amazing animal through the glass. My 3 year old on the other hand- only saw the glowing red buttons that demanded to be pushed (nevermind that he didn't care what the result of pushing the buttons was...).

As I thought about this while driving home, I realized that there are definitely pros and cons to maturity. At first I only thought about how much he missed because he wasn't looking at the right thing, and didn't know the importance/meaning of what was there. But then I realized that him looking at things through childlike eyes brought him JOY, not disappointment. The only disappointment that occurred was mine; me trying to push my way of thinking upon him (trying to burden him with the responsibility that comes with knowledge?).

Anyway- the point of all my rambling was more about MY heart than anything else. There are examples in scripture of how we should seek wisdom, but there are also examples where the faith of a child is praised too. I felt challenged to see if there are areas of my life where I need to approach things with more of a childlike heart. Are there areas where I'm not stepping up in the wisdom that I know I have? Am I choosing the immature route because to choose wisdom requires something of me that I'm not willing to give? I'm not saying to abandon reason or to choose immaturity over maturity. I AM saying that I can be over critical and call it 'wisdom'... and I can be foolish and call it 'childlike'. Ugh. Examination of my heart is messy.

So, I pray. Father God, teach me Your ways. Help me to walk daily in Your truth, holding fast to the wisdom and knowledge that comes from you. Also, help me to release my fear and control over things that I don't understand, so that I can have the faith of a child.