Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Find Me Tonight... (by Everyday Sunday)

I had this CD in the car tonight- and it just touches something deep inside me. Find a download and listen to it if you haven't heard it before... It just exemplifies how I feel in my walk with God sometimes- that I'm just so desperate for Him, but yet I strive on my own all too often...

Find Me Tonight:
Yesterday, I could not feel this.
Today I'm sick of trying to live
like I can live on my own.

This world around me is suffocating.
I keep forgetting to turn and run to you

So find me wherever I am.
Won't you find me?
I've got myself lost,
and I don't think
I want to be roaming in heartache.
Please find me tonight.

I make it hard, and I cant stand it,
can't drag my head around it.
I wrestle with you more than I should.

I've made a mess of everything,
but you see the best in me.
I'll never be too far gone.

So find me wherever I am.
Won't you find me?
I've got myself lost, and I don't think
I want to be roaming in heartache.
Please find me tonight.

You speak without sound.
Your love is so loud.
You always save me.
So find me,
I don't want to be roaming.

The Bratwurst Diet

yes, it's that time again around the jacob house... and no, it's not 'eat anything you want except bratwurst.' It's actually, (seemingly), the 'all-bratwurst, all the time' diet. :) (joke)

yes, i'm doing atkins again. the really difficult, really strict 2 week part that kicks the butt of your metabolism. (btw, if my metabolism had a butt, it would need to be kicked...)

so, no, i'm not realistically eating bratwurst all the time. it just feels like a meat-centric two days so far, at lease more meat centric than I normally eat. i just can't bring myself to eat salad for breakfast (give me a few days, though and the eggs will look less than appealing).

Bottom line: every time i've done this super strict, no sugar, no starches, no bread, very low carbohydrate diet, i DO lose weight. And, as long as i ease back into carbohydrates slowly, I actually keep losing, and/or maintain (depending on the amount of exercise and the strictness of my diet).

I refuse to be one of those people that gains it all back and yo-yo's in their weight. So, i'm trying to stay focused and goal-driven.

As of this morning, I've lost 2 more pounds. (which puts me actually 1 lb from my goal that i set last april!). I know I need to keep at it- and finish out the whole two weeks though, to tell my metabolism who's boss.

The positive, yet negative effect of all this: none of my clothes are going to fit. :) I should keep looking at it as a praise report instead of a prayer request though... i'm just praying when it's all said and done, that i'll wait for the 'size 6 clothes fairy' to visit me while i'm sleeping, and systematically change out my closet and remove all the big clothes and replace them with 6's and 8's. :)

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Fun pics from the last few weeks...

Christmas morning at Baba's house. Check out my new car! :)

This is a brothers shot... 2 generations of handsome men. :)

Playing with Gracie and Maddie IN the toybox.

We clean up pretty well, eh? Steve's office xmas party was a good excuse to get dolled up. :)

The kid beaming... that's mine. :) This was his first preschool performance! Yeah!!!

Nice earband Sarah.... It makes me look bald doesn't it?

My boys sledding. Check out Pike's Peak. I love this place!

Happy New Year!

So, I'm thinking that my focus this year should be not to think about all the "numbers..." I feel caught up in the how's and what if's of the future and most of it is tied up in 'numbers.' How big should our family be? How many years until we start the adoption process? How much does adoption cost? When should we move to a different house/school district for Andy?
So, I should basically let God handle all of this and stop trying to guess or plan it all. I don't know the answer to any of these questions, and I don't have a means to figure out the answer, other than seeking the God I love. So, I seek. And wait. :)