Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Infertility

Odd title for this post- but I was reflecting on a post I wrote back in 2007. I was thinking earlier in this process that it feels like I've been pregnant for 16 months. But I feel like the comparison to infertility is actually a more accurate description.

Here are a few direct quotes from that 2007 post that I find pertinent and interesting in my current 'infertile season of the adoption' (where nothing is happening while we wait:)):

(Prayer for friends going through infertility)
"...but He is also able to soften your heart to believe and hope for His ultimate plan and timing."

"I also encourage you to seek Him and allow Him to grow you in all other areas while you wait.
"I'm realizing that peace is not JUST the absence of conflict- it's the presence of God. I want THAT more than anything."

Hang on. He IS able, more than able..."
I love that as I read this over to myself, I realize that I need to hear it again, 3 years later and believe it for my own life. I also think it's interesting that I was prepared 10 years ago (as prepared as you can be, I guess) for an experience with infertility because of what the Dr. told me in 2000. But 10 years, 2 kids and 1 miscarriage later, I realize that I haven't experienced infertility- until now... This adoption is sooo completely out of my hands. We started the paperwork last August (see the lilypie thing at the top of the blog to see how long we've been 'trying' for this baby).
My prayers today sound the same as they did when we were trying to conceive the first time and didn't know if it would be tomorrow or years away. I see too that I still need to REST and relax, and allow God to do it when I'm least expecting it. :) Or 'stop trying' - (as if I can 'try' my way to a referral).
(Deep breath.)
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life (Pr 13:12). :)

3 comments:

theheartofachild said...

This is "hope deferred" and your desires will be fulfilled! Having been through infertility, I do think the wait is so similar...both hard. But, rest assured, a baby will come! Praying for movement in India!!!
Jenny

Peter and Nancy said...

We would say it was our "elephant" pregnancy (theirs take 2 years). The knowledge that things are completely out of my hands is both humbling and frustrating . . . and taught me a lot about praying honestly (not editing my thoughts for God). Know that you have lots of company, if that helps!
Hugs,
Nancy

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