I've been reading in Zechariah lately and had a great conversation with friends yesterday about a verse that has been stuck in my head... In chapter 4 there's a verse... it follows the mention of building a foundation... and then it says "Don't despise the day of small things."
Wow. That is totally where I am right now. God is building foundations in several areas of my life. I am grateful that I can at least see that's what he's doing. But the other word for me is that I need to praise him for that and not despise that it's only a foundation. What could be better than a good foundation?
I'm married to a structural engineer. I married a man ALL about foundations. And, thanks to some harebrained clients of his, I get to hear some pretty funny (and sometimes super sad) stories of people who failed to 'build their house upon the ROCK." I know there is a significant cost involved if you build a foundation that is not right for the building. I also know because of Steve's stories, that a proper foundation is planned based upon what WILL be there, not what you want it to look like or how strong you 'think' it should be. Also, the type of foundation depends on the type of soil that its built on... How many analogies can you think of with that!??
How prepared is my heart/life for God to build on? I know from Steve's stories too that sometimes the soil is so full of clay or sand that you need to amend it by adding good soil before you even put the foundation there... I think that's SOOO neat. God can not only build a good foundation, but he can change the state of our hearts first, so that the foundation is on solid ground. Katie, I think that's whats happening in you right now. God is amending your soil, so that he can build. Know that it's not your job to help, it's just your job to tell God it's ok to mess with your stuff... he's not asking you to do it, he's asking if it's ok if he does it... that's why you're feeling vulnerable.
I love that God knows exactly what is to come in our lives, and if we allow Him to be our foundation builder, the foundation will be solid. I also think its probably pretty hard to tell what will be there based on the foundation slab. So, we probably shouldn't concern ourselves with it. It's just wasted energy.
So. That's me. That's where I am. I'm in foundation building stage. I can resist, or I can acquiesce.
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So, first I have to admit that I just read this tonight- Thursday night. I'm sobbing my eyes out right now. Thank you so much for this, it is like balm to my soul right now. Thanks for listening to me on Monday. I have such good friends, I don't know how I got so blessed.
I feel like I SHOULD be doing so many things right now, but I feel like I'm slogging through very deep mud. To think that if I just let Him, he can change my soil, is such a relief. That, I feel like I can do. And I do feel sooo vulnerable. I've felt for awhile now like I don't know what my foundation is, or even wondered if I had any left. Maybe that's just so He can do what He needs to do, so he can change the soil. I can handle THAT.
I keep praying a variation of the "I believe, help my unbelief"- "I am willing, please help me with any lingering unwillingness."
Thank you so much, Sarah! I love you.
Katie
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