If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.
Today I'm grateful. I wish I could say it was the case every day- but I'm trying. Life with Christ is a walk, a process, right?
So, in praying about the holidays- we felt/decided that we should drive to see family this year. Because of the adoption we don't know what next year will look like. We don't know when we might be traveling to go pick up our cutie in India... and a 2 week trip to India will not only demand our finances and our energy but it will demand all of my hubby's available vacation time (and then some...).
So, we looked at the books and thought: It is not possible. We're doing our best to live without using debt/credit as an option. While this invigorates and excited us, it also challenges us immensely. It's so easy to look at the upcoming pay periods and think... we'll have extra money in a few weeks- let's just do it now and pay for it when that paycheck comes in 2 weeks... But I have been really convicted about that kind of living lately and so we're challenging ourselves to truly and honestly live with delayed gratification. And, sometimes that means forgoing big things. We started to get worried this week because we were expecting a check that did not come.
So- we asked ourselves. Now what? The fact that the check should have come is true. The fact that it did not is also true.
I'm reminded of one of my favorite Jim Elliot quotes: (paraphrased based upon my memorization of it from about 15 years ago) What is, is actual. What might be, simply is not. Therefore we must not query God as though he has robbed us of something that is not. Let not our longing slay our appetite for living.
Live in the now. Not in the almost or maybe or hopefully.
So, we believed that we were supposed to keep planning for a trip, even though we would be down to the wire on it budget-wise. Because we are without this check, we're literally budgeted down to the $10 mark... We can do the trip- as long as we pack meals on the way, etc. and not eat out.
Then God came through. We got three checks this weekend totalling $55. Andy's Bday party cost $47.21. I got 5 secret shop jobs over the weekend that totalled (not including all the reimbursed items) $25 of payment. Andy's cake was $22. So, the money that we had originally budgeted for his party- was left untouched. Isn't that just like God. The earned/expected $ didn't come. The unexpected $ did come. With $10 to spare.
So, we'll have what we need. not because we earned it- but because God is Good.