Monday, May 12, 2008

What does it mean?

I've been thinking today, about how much I've learned about Type 1 Diabetes in the last three months. And how, at the same time, I don't want to do this. I'm not in denial about the disease and how we can manage it and help him to have a wonderful life... But I will admit that I'm having a hard time grasping the idea that we need to embrace it to move forward.

While I pray, I feel that God is saying "I want to heal him too." And that makes me weep all the more. If I want him healed, he wants to be healed, and God wants him healed, what is next? Healing? OK! Let's do it God! And I wait...

I'm also struggling with the idea of what Diabetes means for our family's purpose of doing missions. I know that there are many ways to be involved stateside, but we envisioned that we would be moving back overseas again... and thought that's what God had for us, and so now we're looking at the future differently...

Jesus, do your will, and don't let me get in the way. That's the best way I can think to pray over it all right now...

1 comment:

Aimee said...

I understand how you feel. Being in the place of wanting it, knowing God wants to do it... you're in the area between "Amen" at the end of the prayer and the actual work.

But it WILL happen.

You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.